Child 4 is getting married next year. He's 23. My husband has been his step dad since he was 5.
We are a family of 7. We lived as a family of 7. I consider myself to be mother to 5, my husband considers himself to be a father to 5 also.
The children refer to us as 'the parents' They refer to one another as 'their siblings'
Child 2 is getting married soon, his wedding has caused me a few issues, but only because we're living so far away, we're not involved with their planning, timing, costs. This is being managed by the bride and her family and I'm ok with that. We handed over some money, but have no idea of the costs incurred, so no idea if we should've given more. We've been involved, taking our son for his suit fitting and recommending a photographer. My biggest 'drama' has been deciding what to wear, as the only information I have is the bridal colours to avoid and that the Mother of the Bride has her outfit. But I don't know what colour or style it is.
I'd bought a couple of outfits, but wasn't happy with them. I wanted something that said 'Mother of the Groom' not guest. Last weekend with Peter's guidance I finally bought something I was happy with.
I'm assuming Peter and and I will sit at the top table. We will find out 2 days before the wedding when we arrive in the UK, what time the dress rehearsal is and assume on the day we'll know the rest of the plans, when we ask.
Child 4's wedding is completely different in the planning stages but it throws up another set of issues for us. We have 18 months notice of their wedding instead of 6 months with child 2 for starters, so we can book flights to arrive a week before hand and there will be several trips over before then. We are unable to attend their engagement party.
We've met and spent a lot of time with 4a's parents. Peter hasn't met 2a's parents yet.
I know the weddings are about our sons and their future wives, not about us, but with the family dynamics and distances involved, it does throw up some issues.
Child 4 and the family have booked the hotel and secured accommodation for all the family. Unfortunately this means his father's side also. Where Peter and I don't have any problems with this and we all get on very well. I really didn't fancy sitting at the top table with my ex husband, while Peter sat where? So they've done away with the top table and taken every one's needs into consideration. I don't actually think his father would have given this any thought.
In the modern day, with so many people having complicated families, I'm surprised there hasn't been a trend to move away from the top table arrangements.