Monday 9 July 2018

Should I be more tolerant?

I'm one of the first people today 'sorry' if I bump into someone. I'm also one of the rare breed of people who will say 'excuse me please' and actually wait for a response rather than just shoving my way through.

It takes quite a bit of piss taking before I will challenge someone on their behaviour, but I do like to have a moan and complain.

If I hold a door open and someone walks through I'll say 'thank you for holding the door' and if someone pushes in a queue I'll politely ask 'have you any idea why I'm actually stood here?'

I don't know really if I should be more tolerant or whether people need to be more mindful of others.

Most of the time I find people are less tolerant and mindful of others when they're travelling.

The other week I took a short flight to Northern Ireland. On this flight I was in an aisle seat, seated next to a man who had his arm in a cast, because of this his arm was hanging over my seat. A woman sat in a front with a small child and for the entire flight, played a children's TV show with the volume on full on her phone to entertain the child. The seat in the aisle opposite me was occupied by a young man with headphones on and his music on his phone could be heard. behind me sat a woman who struggled to physically fit in her seat and his knees pushed into my back the entire flight.

Did I say anything? No, not at first. I sat on an angle, with my elbow being knocked by crew and passengers going to the toilet. When I tried to straighten myself into an upright position, Mr broken arm exerted his right to my air space, no eye contact was made, no apology, no polite smile. I just had to tolerate it, along with the two iPhones and their volume. However when the woman behind stood up, pulling on my seat and grabbing part of my hair as she did so, I let out an audible sigh and muttered FFS.

On her return from the toilet, I got a dirty look, followed by pulling on my chair and pushing her knees into my back.
When I turned round in the aisle to ask her to refrain she said: 'what do you want me to do?' 
I replied with: 'maybe try a smile, apologise for inconveniencing me and pulling my hair' 
She replied: 'whatever'

I accommodated and tolerated everyone around me, until the point where my hair was pulled, however they were not mindful of me or anyone else around them. I'll assume they all had a good flight and were comfortable with their arrangements. I'll also assume that the woman behind me who pulled my hair probably thought I wasn't at all tolerant of her needs and the man next to me with his arm in a cast, just saw it as his right and was probably not aware that he was causing me any problem in any way.

Do you complain when someone inconveniences you? Or do you just sigh, tut and mutter and hope they don't hear you to avoid any confrontation?

Sometimes it's just not worth saying anything, however polite I am, I also end up being the bad guy.




18 comments:

  1. Oooh, things like this really wind me up! What happened to common courtesey? I too am someone that normally sits back and just carries on. But why should we? Since being a teacher and a mother, I have started reacting to the bad behaviour of unknown children if they are around mine. Just last night I said to an unattended 7 year old at the pub park, "Please don't spit when my children are around, it's really dirty and not a kind thing to do." He did stop thank goodness! But I still think i'm too polite sometimes, and I find it harder to approach adults who are rude or in the wrong!! #TriumphantTales

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    1. oh i never challenge a child, I'm worried they'd take it out of context, i speak to the parents every time, but find i end up giving a medal and a mission first

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  2. Sounds like every flight I've ever been on! :D "Common courtesy," like "common sense," is out the window these days, I'm afraid. Sometimes I say something, sometimes I don't. When I do, it rarely gets the desired response.

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    1. the long haul flights aren't quite so bad in my opinion, better service and more space help

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  3. I tend to keep it to myself. I find it just to be easier in the long run.
    #bestbootforward

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    1. i do but i have a certain breaking point where i have to say something if I'm being inconvenienced

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  4. Yes I have been known to speak up and tell people how I see things but have received childish behaviour from them as a result. #keepingitreal

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  5. I would struggle to know what to do, sounds a real dilemma X #keepingitreal

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    1. i often sit in silence and sometimes tut out loud lol

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  6. Its amazing what holidays do to peoples manners. its not right at all! Well done for saying something! Thank you for sharing this with us at #TriumphantTales. I hope to see you back next week.

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    1. yes that's it, just plain old fashioned manners, just a smile and a sorry would suffice

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  7. I'd be exactly the same as you. The other week in Hay, with the pram I moved into the road to let a woman past. Nothing. So I just said "You're very welcome" as she passed. It really irks me that people are so inconsiderate. The noise would have killed me so you were much more tolerant than I would have been! It's not the inconveniencing that's the thing it's the lack of acknowledgement that gets me so I know exactly where you're coming from!

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    1. sometimes just a glance upwards would be enough

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  8. Hi Suzanne, another great post that had me nodding. I'm a mutterer, although I will say "my pleasure" when a person walks through a door I'm holding open for someone else (like I have nothing better to do) and don't say thank you. People don't realise how powerful the words thank you are. That's all I want... It's no different when I'm driving and let someone through, a simple nod would suffice, but it rarely happens. In fact when it does it makes my day. Unfortunately there are far to many people with a sense of 'entitlement'. They think they are entitled to listen to music at full volume, or play mind numbing childrens videos on repeat without headphones. When they want to move they think they are entiteled to just push past without an "excuse me" or "sorry to bother you"... I apologise far too easily and please and thank you roll off my tongue with ease. But you know what? I'd rather be like us than them... If I ever felt I was invading someone else's space whilst travelling I'd be mortified.

    Thank you for popping over and sharing your experience at #keepingitreal (you certainly do!).

    xx

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    1. oh don't start me on drivers, they rarely even look up at junctions these days, if they haven't seen you then they can't possible acknowledge you

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  9. Difficult one. I think it is always going to be challenging on public transport with so many different individuals with different desires and needs all packed in one smallish place. It sounds like you had a particularly rotten time and I think it is that "whatever" which would have put me over the edge #BestBootForward

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    1. I was really tolerant and just accepted everyone's needs up until the point where my hair was pulled

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